Top Ten Excuses

Top ten excuses for not doing homework:

 

  • I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
  • Isaac Newton’s birthday.
  • I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn’t actually reach it.
  • I have the proof, but there isn’t room to write it in this margin.
  • I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
  • I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
  • I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
  • I couldn’t figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
  • I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
  • I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn’t find it.

 

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